The Trouble With Hodges
by Commodore Norrington
Summary: Something's been bugging Wendy ever since she and Hodges talked about Spock's green blood...


It had been bugging her for a while now – not consciously, just niggling at the back of her mind like an itch she couldn't quite reach. She would never admit to even remembering that conversation, let alone mulling it over later, and she probably wasn't even aware that she was. But the fact remained: the evidence didn't add up. And she couldn't let that go.

It wasn't until the _Astro Quest_ case that she remembered their brief conversation about green blood, almost a year ago now. Seeing him holding that microprobe had brought it rushing back and she found herself as troubled by it now as she had been then – maybe even more so.

"Okay, I don't get it," she blurted, standing in the doorway.

Hodges didn't look up from his microscope. "Don't get what?" he asked vaguely, twiddling the knobs.

Wendy crossed her arms, scowling. "You have got to be the biggest geek on the planet –"

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. You bought a replica microprobe for _way_ too much money –"

"How do you know that?" he frowned, finally looking up from whatever evidence he was processing.

"The crushed look on your face when you saw the fifty other guys who got suckered, too."

"I wasn't _suckered_," he replied defensively. "I…it was a reasonable price for a piece of television history. I'm glad so many others can experience that joy as well."

Wendy raised an eyebrow but shook her head slightly in amusement. "Sure, Hodges. Whatever you say. Still, you bought that microprobe; you speak Vellikan; you make board games in your spare time; you have a cat named _Kobayashi Maru_, for crying out loud!"

Hodges' trademark smug smile returned. "You don't have to prove your point to _me_."

"I'm just saying, it doesn't add up. How could _you_, of all people, not know that Vulcan blood is copper-based? Or have forgotten that Spock was promoted to Captain before _The Wrath of Khan_? Any self-respecting Trekkie knows…that…" she trailed off, her eyes narrowing in concentration…or suspicion. "You're not really a Trekkie, are you?"

"Referring to Spock as the first officer is perfectly valid, thank you very much," he retorted. "No one calls Kirk 'Admiral Kirk', do they? And how the _hell_ do you remember that conversation?"

"You apparently do, too," she smiled. "I'll grant you the 'First Officer', but how do you explain the blood?"

"I really can't believe you're asking me this," he answered, rolling his eyes. "I have a momentary lapse on one insignificant piece of trivia –"

"Insignificant?" Wendy's eyes widened in surprise. "Would it be insignificant if it was about Cephalon biology?"

"That's different," Hodges insisted unconvincingly.

"Because it's _Astro Quest_?" Wendy commented knowingly. Parry, thrust, touché.

Hodges scowled. "Why do you care, anyway?"

"I was just trying to make the evidence add up," Wendy shrugged. "It's what we do. The question is, why do _you_ care? Why make everyone believe you're First Officer of the Weekend _Enterprise_ Warriors?"

Hodges sighed. "Nobody takes a non-Trekkie geek seriously. It's the hallmark of geekdom, the sign of true commitment. Try getting on a sci-fi forum and not knowing Spock's mother's name, you get torn to shreds. But put "I obey the Prime Directive" in your signature and you're golden."

"So you were a geek pariah?"

"It's not just the geeks, though. Everyone else expects you to eat, drink, and breathe _Trek_, too. Get some GCMS results early? 'Scotty beam this down for ya, Hodges?' Ask a simple question? 'Dammit, Hodges, I'm a CSI, not an encyclopedia!' It gets old."

"I suppose that all makes sense," Wendy mused. "But wait – why _aren't_ you a Trekkie? It just seems…inevitable."

"You see, that's exactly the prejudice I've been subject to my entire life!" Hodges cried, shaking his finger at her. "From you of all people. Well, I suppose you deserve to know; you've found out this much…" Hodges took a deep breath, steeling himself for his confession. "It was the eyebrows."

"I'm sorry?" Wendy blinked, not sure she had heard right. "The…eyebrows?"

"Well, and the ears, too, really," Hodges added unhelpfully.

"The eyebrows and the ears," Wendy repeated.

"Yup. Spock's eyebrows scared the willies out of me as a kid. And his ears…" Hodges shuddered. "I had the same problem with elves."

Wendy shook her head in disbelief. "That…that actually makes a weird sort of sense, coming from you. The eyebrows and the ears…"

Hodges smiled, shrugging slightly in an almost embarrassed way. Then he frowned. "Wait a second. Why wouldn't I be the Captain of the Weekend _Enterprise_ Warriors?"


End file.
